Was It Really Worth It?

Did you ever plan an event or say yes to someone who asked you to do something for them and totally regret it afterwards? We all have probably done this at some point in our lives. We end up changing our whole schedule just to fit something in. Then if we really didn’t want to do it in the first place, we just get irritated. Why is it so hard to say, either to yourself or someone else, those two little letters that spell the word ‘NO’?

I tend to believe it’s something that’s been ingrained in our heads since we were young. Did you ever hear these or similar words/phrases growing up?:

• Don’t say that, you’ll hurt his/her feelings?
• If you can’t do it for me, I’ll be upset?
• You want me to be happy, don’t you?
• You always think of yourself.
• You can’t always be happy ya know.
• If you don’t, he/she won’t like you.
• Do this for me and I’ll be your best friend.

You get the point I’m sure. Some of us are givers by nature and have a hard time receiving. First you have to start receiving from YOU. If you start feeling taken for granted, that’s another signal that you really need to start checking in to see if you’re really doing what you want to do.

Here are three suggestions to help you decide whether what you are about to do is worth it:

1. Wait before you Act. If you are deciding on planning an event or doing something a friend asked you do to, you don’t need to answer right away. Give yourself a little time. We tend to want to say yes right away to make the other person feel good. There’s no problem saying something like, ‘I can let you know by tomorrow. I will call/email you by noon tomorrow and let you know.’
2. Stop and Listen. Sit by yourself for a few seconds, close your eyes and envision the question/event that you are deciding upon. Watch and Feel for your body to clue you in on the answer. What kind of feeling do you get? Is it a knot in your stomach? A pain in your head? A smile on your face? A feeling of warmth and light? Listen and listen closely. You’re body is an amazing ally that will let you know the answer if you listen.
3. Evaluate and Empower. Once you feel the sensations in your body, trust that you really do know what the answer is. We just have to be reminded of this awareness that we tend to shut off or close down. It’s your intuition or your inner knowing. The more attention you give to those feelings in your body, the more you will open up the ‘knowing’ that we all are born with. Know and trust the answer you get and follow through with it. You’ll feel better doing what is right for you. You’ll notice less stress and tension and by allowing yourself to tune in to your true inner self, you’ll have more energy no matter what you end up deciding.

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