Does Suffering Have A Purpose?
First Listed June 8, 2008
“Suffering has a noble purpose-the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego.”
~Eckhart Tolle
Everyone seems to be able to relate to the word ‘suffer’ in some form or another. Some people call it pain. You probably don’t have to try too hard to think of someone you know who, in your eyes, is suffering. I know quite a few people who seem to be going through some sort of suffering-be it pain, illness, family issues, health issues, job issues and the big one-money issues!
The weird thing is, as Eckhart Tolle says in his books, we may be in a life situation that we are not happy with, but there is no need to suffer over it. We can accept what is and go from there. I know this sentence can seem so untrue to a lot of us. We can’t believe that we could not suffer over something that we seem to believe is so horrible. But if you break it down the following way it does make sense:
If we are in a situation we describe as horrible, sad, hard or unbearable, it is this belief that makes us suffer. The situation is what it is. Acceptance is the key. Once we accept what is, then we are no longer resisting life, thus we don’t suffer. It doesn’t mean we give up. It means we can choose where we go from here with more clarity and focus because we will be taking action from our inner being, and not our ego.
If we label it as horrible, then we are adding suffering to it. Our ego wants us to see our situation as suffering because it feeds off these thoughts. It wants us to be a victim. Our ego also thrives on getting others’ attention. If you complain, become defensive or outraged etc., it is the ego at work. It wants you to feel alone and separate from every other living thing, when we are not separate at all. Even though I know this to be true, it is still hard at times for me to live this.
I have people in my life who appear to be suffering and it is hard to see someone you care for in pain. But after speaking to someone who I consider to be close to if not enlightened, he helped me to understand why it doesn’t help me to put myself in a state of suffering as well. He explained that every single person is responsible for their own state of well-being, including myself. If I suffer because I see someone else suffering, which in the past is usually the case, then I not only add to that person’s suffering, but I add to my own pain on top of it. The main ‘Aha’ moment I had was when he said that I am not helping that person at all by not taking care of my own well-being. But if I stayed in a state of pure presence-being totally aware and in the present moment-then this is the way that I can serve that person, who in my eyes, is suffering. It’s the only way that I can be of service. In this conscious state, I can listen without judging. I can BE with them without telling them what they should do. If they do ask me for my opinion, then it will come from a deeper place, an ego-less place and I will not be attached to the outcome. If they decide to follow my advice or not, it will not matter.
Everyone is on their own path and is here to experience life no matter what form it takes.
This is something that has been hard for me-even when it comes to my own health issues. I can tend to fall back into the ego state, but I am not there for long because of the awareness practice that I have been doing.
So I do believe in Tolle’s statement above. I believe it because I put it into practice and it works. If you intend to develop awareness in your life every day, you will see as you catch yourself in either your thoughts or in your actions, that each time you do, you tear away a piece of your ego and you will feel more peace in your life every day.
Comments? Thought? Experiences?
I’d love to hear them as I feel we can all serve and learn from each other.
with gratitude,
Gina
Chev on Mon, 9th Jun 2008 9:31 am
Great article, There is a fine line between compassion and suffering. Really well written.
Elly on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 12:44 am
Great article and perfect timing for it.
I run the international Healing Prayers Circle (an internet based group with members from all over the world). I recently sent out a message to our members about adopting a compassionate professional detachment from the details of the sufferings we are witness to when the requests for healing help come in. You are so right, I recently told my own newsletters readers that we are of no use to these people if we collapse into the drama and awfulness of what we are witness to. By remaining centred and strong in our hearts, in a detached compassionate way we are able to continue radiating light and healing to those in need.
Adela Rubio on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 3:54 am
Thanks for the thought provoking article, Gina.
I have found that ‘suffering’ is optional. It most often happens unconsciously when we are in resistance to ‘what is.’ That is always changing, as are we and ALL of life. Wanting something to be what it is not will create much pain and suffering. The holding onto our insistence on the outer form of life is the main cause of suffering.
The place to start here is within our own being. Just noticing how we automatically, in a programmed, unconscious manner just dive into thoughts and beliefs that are no longer true.
In time you come to experience that ‘all is well’ and life is a come and a go. There is profound beauty AND peace in experiencing all of it, without judgment.
Adela
Katie on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 7:04 am
I can relate to this article. I was recently told by a dear friend that they may or may not have a health issue. Rather then being able to be supportive, I broke down with fear of the worst. I couldn’t even hide it. She ended up consoling me. I felt horrible that I couldn’t be her support at that very moment. I felt weak. I felt even betrayed a bit. I too, am now trying to be more aware, more compassionate then the “victim” or sufferer. Thank you for the reminder.
Gina on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 11:35 am
Thanks Chev. Yes, there is such a fine line-I have to stay utmost presence to not fall to the suffering side!
Gina
Gina on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 11:39 am
Hi Elly,
Wow, what timing like you said. It seems like we were thinking about the same thing! Non-attachment and acceptance do seem to be the keys. I’m still working on this. It’s hard when people so close to you suffer, but I do realize, like you said, that I will be of no help to them, or myself if I fall into the suffering trap.
Thanks for sharing. Your website is really great by the way. I’d love to learn more about your Healing Prayers Circle.
blessings,
Gina
Gina on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 11:43 am
Hi Adela,
It’s so true like you said how we are so programmed. I have been working on changing my thoughts and now I have been questioning a lot of beliefs, which like our thoughts, can be so negative and limiting. It feels good to be aware and start questioning some of these beliefs-such new insight appears!
Life is change, that I know for sure. So being happy with ‘what is’ seems like the only sane way to go.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
peace,
Gina
Gina on Wed, 11th Jun 2008 11:52 am
Your welcome Katie. I hope all turns out ok with your friend. It’s hard not to beat yourself up for feeling a certain way. Maybe look at this event that happened to you as an opportunity for you to become more aware and present.
Seems like life throws things at us until we ‘wake up’ and take notice.
with gratitude,
Gina